Happy summer!

(Silly mama photo compliments of Mr. Noe B)

I explain the transition from our school days to summer break days like this: slower paced/faster paced. 

Clear as mud, right? Mama's of multiple children are probably getting my vibe here though. The fact that we don't have to do the insane morning race and be to school every morning is truly amazing. Waking up, cuddling on the couch, fixing special breakfasts with no care for time restraints? - My kind of day starters. But… then there's the fact that four children are full-time-mama-needy. Need I say more?!

Whew!


Here we are. I knew June was going to be crazy to the max. It is - and yet it's more of an exhilarating, adventurous, exciting, energetic crazy than I imagined. I thought I would be exhausted through this month. I'm hanging on for dear life, but I am finding most of the busy to be such a blessed busy, that it is more of the life giving kind than the life sucking kind. Make sense?

When we hit mid month I was stunned. Like, "no-possible-way-is-this-month-already-half-way-over" stunned.

I told you all that I booked five weddings this month, right? Right. I'm loving weddings more and more. Still cracks me up because I was scared silly with the thought of photographing weddings 2 years ago. And now they are at the top of fav list. Take a little look-see over here.

Then there was that fun little surprise camping trip on the last day of school. Oh you guys - if you could have seen the boys' faces when I drove into the driveway after that last day of K, 2nd, and 3rd grade….

Dave had taken half of the day off and we, along with Mr. Kai, packed up the camper and got everything ready. They were thrilled… and thankful. That's one thing that is very important to me, and at times I had wondered if we would ever see it; an initiative in our boys to voice thankfulness (you know instead of a humongous list of first world problem-esque complaints, daily). But this time, with the camping trip, we heard "thank you so much for surprising us with camping, thank you for taking us to the beach, thank you for the campfire, thank you for that bike ride".

Sweet. And really music to this mama's ears.

-We won't forget it.

And this was just a small taste of the big camping trip we are planning for later on this summer! Don't ever let anyone tell you that being a mama to all boys means missing out. Are there things I may not experience having all boys? Of course, but oh my am I loving this life with my 5!

We had a relaxing and special Father's Day. I say it every single year, but I am just so happy for my boys. So, so happy that they get this gift of a loving invested daddy. How it warms me to the core.

And if I could just be honest here - I have to say that this month has been on the difficult side for Dave and I. Old habits, conflicts, issues creeping up and trying to steal good. Even through all of that, I can so clearly see the blessing of us and him and what we have.

God has been strengthening and challenging me continually these days. I'm seeing Him in so many new ways.

Friend,
Guide,
Lifter of my head,
My strength and confidence.

I knew He was all of those, I did, but as I experience new paths in life I see Him more vividly in these roles. I see Him being those things to me in a very personal way and it is sweet.

For several years in a row I read through the Bible on a yearly schedule. A new testament passage, old testament passage, Psalm, and Proverb. It was good for me. Instilled some discipline and gave a great broad overview. Last year I read the Bible in chronological order. A change from what I knew, and another really good learning experience. However, given my perfectionist personality some problems began to arise with the annual reading schedule.

Like - reading just to stay on track.
Speed reading through stuff because I "had to".
Feeling overwhelmed if I had a busy weekend and lost a few days… 

This is not what reading words from my precious Savior should be.

I knew this year I needed to do something different, but I didn't know what. Then last September I attended the True Woman conference and listened to a speaker, who is now one of my favorite people ever.  :) Priscilla Shirer spoke about being a mom to little boys, and what a busy life she leads. She also spoke with such a vibrant energy about her time with Jesus and how He speaks to her. The words she spoke in the session went straight to my heart. Using some simple tools she taught, I am now reading very slowly through some pertinent passages. On January 3rd I started going through the book of Galatians. I have been reading through it, journaling through it, praying through it, pausing through it, and listening through it. It is now June 19th and I am on chapter 5. Slow? Maybe. But exactly what I need to be doing right now. I'm so thankful for freedom to obey and just do what we are supposed to.

So, this is me right now. And I think I need to go to bed. :)  All of my boys are asleep. The house is quiet, and I am sure I would stay up way too late to soak in some of this quiet if I don't force myself to go now. Tomorrow is another busy day. I am going to be helping with set up for a big fund raising garage sale that the pregnancy resource center I volunteer for is putting on. We have swimming lessons for the 3 youngest, and a list of errands that await.

Let's enjoy this June thoroughly. Amidst the busy and the running around and the everything, let's just step back a minute and breathe deeply. Let's whisper a prayer of thanks for the maker of all Junes.That super long winter? It's over. :) That in and of itself is enough for a happy dance, yes?

{June} 10 on 10

"This is what 10 on 10 is about: Take a photo every hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month. Document a day of your life and find beauty among the ordinary moments. Then share your beauty with us!"

Shopping after dropping the 3 oldest off at school - and yes I did buy myself flowers. :)

Stocking up and organizing food to take camping - can not wait to surprise the boys with this!!

Time to change out of sweatpants… ;) Feeling summery and ready for the rest of my day! Plus I kind of match the place mats on the chair behind me, so that's always fun.

Oh my heart. These two…. Love them to pieces!!!! Meeting Dave at our elementary school to watch Noe's end of school year program.

Lower bleacher - far right. My sweet Noe, who is no longer a kindergartner. He did super with his little program. 

-And I'm off and running. A quick bite to eat before heading to work at the Center for Women. McD's is not my first choice, but it was on the way and these new wraps are growing on me.

Gassing up after work. The sad thing?  - $4.13 actually drew me to this particular station. *shudder*

Seriously. 

Look at that face!! She  welcomed me home after my evening of work. 

Helped get the boys settled in bed, and then saw the sun setting. My peonies are gorgeous right now!

One last thing before I can collapse into my bed. :) Getting the coffee pot all set up and programed to come on at 4:30 tomorrow morning… 

When God hijacks your life

I keep getting this phrase stuck in my head from a book we read last year. I can't even remember the entire context of this phrase in the book, but the phrase is that "God hijacked our life". -And the thought behind it paints a picture of having all these plans, often quite temporal plans with skewed and earthly priorities, and God has this way of taking hearts that are willing and bringing us to places we never signed up to go.

A couple of weeks ago I was downtown, hands full of semi heavy photography gear, mind on a million things, when I caught a glimpse of a boy on a bike in the parking lot across from me.

A boy on a bike.

Simple, not really notable.

Except that it was to me in that moment. 

He had on a red shirt and glasses. He looked like he was about 10 years old. His hair was dark brown and cut short. I did not know him at all, but he looked very similar to my K. In fact, if you took away the braces on K's feet, the more narrow head with the bump on the left side that is his shunt - he would have looked almost exactly like this kid riding his bike in front of me.

And that's what got me. Stripped away of the things we didn't expect from our parenting adventure,
without the things that happened to K on account of his premature birth - this could have been him.

Of course these are the kinds of emotional moments you never plan for and that hit you in surprising ways. My tripod, soft box, and camera bag were taking a toll on my arms as I just stood there staring (bad manners…I know. Scary camera lady gawking at little people), but I didn't feel them at all.

I don't ever want to change my little man. But I can't lie and say that there are never moments that little thoughts don't flutter around my brain about what things would have been like if my first pregnancy would have gone full term.

I'm used to who he is, I love and accept who he is, and I do not compare him. Because of that, I am often taken quite by surprise when I am around other 10 year olds.

This boy on his bike was riding as fast as he could, whipping around corners, laughing with a couple of friends. I finally disengaged myself from scary camera lady mode, and began to load my gear into my van. On the way home I made a mental list (because texting while driving would add to the driving record I started that same week) of all of the ways that K has made my life better. Most of the things on my list would not be there if he had been born full term.

It's like - if parenthood were an airplane, my ticket was for "full term sweet baby" and half way there I realized, with an icy cold fear in my heart, that I was headed straight for "micro preemie babies & lifelong special needs" and I panicked. I knew nothing of this place and "Could you please just turn the plane around?!"

But there in Micro-preemie-ville I found who I was created to be. Crazy, huh?

In so many other ways, I feel like we are back on a plane. This time God has once again changed the trajectory of our journey. Only this time we see the clouds out the window with no idea what we will see when the plane lands.

Do you know how we can just cozy up in our seats with smiles and enjoy the ride?? Because we see how He has never failed us before. Even when we wanted Him to turn the plane around and begged him not to hijack our happy plans. We look back on those things and we see His out-of-this-world goodness and we rejoice in His faithfulness.

Hijack away, God. You've got us. 

{May} 10 on 10

Better late than never, right? 

Right.  :)

"This is what 10 on 10 is about: Take a photo every hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month. Document a day of your life and find beauty among the ordinary moments. Then share your beauty with us!"

I had a morning photo shoot, right after dropping the three oldest off at school. This little dude had fun on the trike while we did our out door shots.

Downloads, uploads, edits, and posting sweet little Nora's sneak peaks on line,

Banana bread baking

SO excited to see these popping up! They smell a-ma-zing!

My bebe. Still needs his naps, but more often than not fights them off. Today he gave in. The sweetness  nearly choked me up. 

Every.single.day. 

I made them sweet little hooks with their first initial above each one. I showed them how easy it was to put their jackets on the top hook and backpacks on the bottom. But this scene, never fails. ;) I choose to pick my battles though, and today I just took a picture, and went to hug on my boys and enjoy them being home from school.

And *boom* - just like that, it is a fourth of a loaf. 

Getting supper in the oven for my guys, as I prepare to leave. Ham and turkey calzone!

A fun picnic themed mother/daughter banquet with my mother in law.

I came home to a quiet house, everyone asleep, and these in my kitchen. -My Mother's Day gift waiting to be planted in my deck planters. I love Gerber daisies!